She regards me with her cool green eyes. It almost hurts to look. I wish she wouldn't do that, it's uncomfortable. "You have not touched your tea." I pursed my lips but pick the teacup delicately and did just that. Deanna Leight was my grandmother. And I hated my summers with her.

Deanna is my father's mother. Growing up, I saw more of my mother's side of the family than I did of my dad's. That suited me just fine. The Reiner clan was a loud and boisterous bunch of people and it was always fun when I was with my cousins. Then the news came when I was eight that Grandpa Leight had had a heart attack. I remembered that ride with an extra sense of clarity. Mum and Dad sat silently in the front while I sat, huddled in the leather backseat. The radio was off and all I had for distraction was the passing streetlamps and blurs of speeding cars. Even as a child I was always preceptive of everything around me. I knew something was wrong.

He'd died while we were on our way there. I saw Deanna for the first time that night through my sleep leadened eyes. Her sharp features were accentuated by the sharp pull of her auburn hair that was streaked with grey back to form a bun. When she saw Dad, she rose up and embraced him. He towered over her and while they shared the same aristocratic cheekbones and lips, that was about the only thing that linked them pyhsically. Dad had copperish-brown hair that was cropped short and dark brown eyes like melted chocolate. Everything about that meeting was fuzzy. But I remembered one thing. When her green eyes met mine, I shivered.

The summers after that I had spent with her instead of my mother's family, to my dismay. Deanna lived in one of those 1950's houses that you see in the television. Worse still, she lived miles away from civilization-the nearest gas station was about 3 miles right off the main road. For every year till I went to college, I felt abandoned when my parents drove away in their Impala. And every year I pitched a fuss about going. I would throw tantrums for weeks leading up to my 'isolation' and throw an even longer sulk when I got back.

"Your head is in the clouds." Her voice brings me out of my thoughts. I smile and say nothing. She's lying in bed, her hair now almost completely grey and braided. She closes her eyes and I let a breath that I didn't realise I was holding. "Don't stay in the clouds too long. They're a beautiful place to be but you could fall really hard." I nod my head and tuck a stray lock of my jet black hair behind my ear. I had decided to dye my hair black and cut it to one of those bobs just to spite on my Dad. Mum never said anything. Somewhere in my hearts of hearts, I think she enjoys the emotional problems I'm giving him. I got all my looks from her save for the green eyes. That, I was told, was a Leight emblem. So I wore brown contacts that gave me hazel looking eyes.

Deanna had been ill for a long time now. Dad had presuaded her to come stay with us but all the while she'd refused. She 'enjoyed her solitude' as she said. I sat by her bedside for the last time. Come September, I was off to college. An art college in Los Angeles. Dad wasn't too happy, but when ever was he when it was about me? I should think that Lulu and Mike wouldn't turn out like me. They were normal. They both had my mother's eyes. Ocean blue eyes. My younger siblings were the perfect angels of the family. I was apreading my wings and flying away. As far away as I can go. So now, I'm just doing my duties.

I read a magazine to while away the time. Some stupid toe rag that had a guts to call itself a publication. Nobody told me anything and I didn't ask. My butt was falling asleep but I can't leave this chair. The bright afternoon sun was filtering in through the plastic blinds of South Mercy Hospital. It was peaceful here, I had to admit. I wished I had my sketch book to sketch my surroundings. Deanna has been here for the past three weeks but I can see no machine hooked to her like a thousand lifelines. She doesn't say much, as she always does whenever we are together. I don't understand it really. Why do I feel so against her?

I left the cold white walls at half-past eight. Two weeks later, I was under the warm California sunshine. I never saw Deanna again. Not alive at least.

It was the 5th of November and I was in bed after a party. Glen and I were just about to get frisky when my cell phone started to buzz. "Hello?" I didn't bother keeping the irritated edge out of my voice. There was a pause. "Hello? Who is this?" Glen raised an eyebrow at me and started nibbling my earlobe.

"Mae? It's Dad." I swatted him away. "It's about your gran."

Pulling the covers around me, I sat for the next 20 minutes listening to my father on the otherside of the line. Deanna had died last night, in her sleep. They had notified the funeral home and could I come back on the next flight? Glen pouted at me and I grimaced. "Sure. Why not?" I said. The next thing I knew I was on the frontporch of my childhood home. Mom greeted me at the door and enveloped me in her arms. Lulu and Mike were in the kitchen munching on cookies and my Reiner grandparents were there with them.

The funeral was in the afternoon. And it was raining. God it was raining. One moment outside and we were soaked to the bone. At the graveyard I saw more Leights than I had ever seen in one lifetime. There was an Auntie Jude and a Grand-Uncle Ted and a million myriad others who I could never remember. They all were in an array of heights, weights and physical features. But most of them, at least the older ones had the same brilliant Leight green feline eyes. I felt as I did that night in the hospital. I felt that same shiver up my spine.

Labels: Short stories