Dear Rachel @ Rachel Roxie @ George @ Mei @ Whatever the hell it is you call yourself these days,

You are my bestest best friend in the whole wide world. Never forget that. Growing up, we were forced to improvise because we were the only two children in a house of people in their golden years. Thus, we had to rely heavily on Barbie dolls, books, Lego, Happy Meal toys. Imagination and improvision was what, and is still what we are most best at.

Being you older sister has taught me alot. I had to, first and foremost, think about you in whatever I am doing. Will it affect you? Will you be jealous if I were to buy a particular shirt that you would most likely like as well? A million questions but soo little answers. I remember those days we begrudgingly cooperated so that when mum got home, she wouldn't take out on us. It was our way of survival. It was the only way we got through.

I can't say I remember much of our childhood. I fucking hated it as you well know. It was seriously fucked up. I knew things that you didn't and those things were blisteringly clear to me, but non-existent to you. Because you were my little sister. I had to shield you from all the burdens that I, as your older sister had to carry. I don't deny it. I suffer from self-induced amnesia of those days. But I remember you most. My constant companion amongst the bitterness. Your first day into Primary school... God! I was trying super hard not to cry that day. Though I was happy that you would be joining me in this new adventurous foray into the unknown, I knew then, at the age of 9, that you were no longer little. You looked spiffy in your hand me down uniform and you looked positively adorable. In the years that followed, every time you tried to hug me or kiss me in school, I would push you away. I wish hadn't. Because now I want a little lovin and you won't give me no more!! (Look at my D face. D:) You're turning 17 in a few days. Soon, you'll follow me into the college life; full of hedonistic funtastic crazy boundless endless potentials. My... How time flies. You're taller than me now.

I know you felt abandoned the day I left for KL. I'm sorry, love. If I had a reason to stay in Kuching, it was you.. But I can't. You know very well as I do why. You never know, but I was trying my best not to cry when you were choking me half to death with you shit-inducing hug. When I got pass the immigration counter, it felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. You'll always have a piece of my heart in your hands, Georgie. Please don't break it.

But always remember this. I love you. No matter how my life turns out, no matter how far I go, no matter where life takes me, no matter who I become at the end of the day. I love you and I want you to know that whatever you choose to do with your life, I'll always be there for you. I'll play the little roles and the big roles for you. You'll always be MY little sister and no one can ever take that away from you or me.

Love always,
Charissa @ Charie @ Fred @ Chey @ Jgabrielle @ Whatever I turn into by midnight.