I take out the old photo album in the drawer. I hadn't realised it was there, but it is. I turn the pages, smile, grimace and laugh quietly at our frozen expressions. They could've never seperated us even if they wanted to.

I've always love you, you know?

But I guess you don't.

It's better this way. You're with her now. I should be happy for you as we'd promised each other to be when we found another. But I'm not. And I never will be. I guess I deserved it, after the things I put you through. But I still want you here. Still want to run my fingers through your hair. Still want your lips on mine. Still want your hand in mine. Still want you. I'll never tell you this, but I wanted forever with you. Even if it was wrong. Even if I go to Hell for this love, I wanted it. So bad.

I wanted to stay with you forever. I wanted to have kids with you. Wanted to see them run around in our backyard. Wanted to see them grow and have children of their own. Wanted to let our family be an example of what we could be. I wanted so much! If you'd had wanted the moon, I'd have had lassoed it and pulled it near for you. I would turn my back on the world, if it meant having you.

But it's too late now isn't it? Those things will only be mere wishes, mere writings in the sand.

Know this though. I love you. always have. You'll always be my first. I'll try to love again. This time for the sake of happiness. I'll try to be happy for you. God knows it'll be hard, but I'll try. For you.

Labels: Love, Ramblings